Manners Matter

In a perfect world we all open doors for one another, say please and thank you, respect each other and their property and put others before ourselves.

I don't profess to be any kind of expert here but in our real world, it seems as though teaching respect and manners to our children is not emphasized so much anymore. Yes, it is difficult to teach manners to children. It takes persistence and patience but the pay-offs are plentiful. When common courtesies are not taught and reinforced, many children grow up to be rude, obnoxious, entitled, selfish adults. I am sure we all have encountered a few of those. Or maybe some of us ARE one of those.

Manners go way beyond a simple and sometimes shallow "please" and "thank you." It is about teaching our children to respect others, to lend a hand and express gratitude,  and to be of service to others. That needs to begin very early. It can start with something as basic as teaching them to call adults by Mr., Mrs., Miss or Ms. Being a good neighbor shows children the world goes beyond their own. It's never too late though to teach these things to children. It's never too late to brush up on our own manners.

And remember to practice what you preach.

We are all role models for children, even those who are not even parents. As a matter of fact, we are all role modes for one another. There is so much rudeness in our midst. You see it on the roads, in public and online. Impatience and selfishness run rampant. During all of this, the children are watching and reading. Even adult children watch how we treat others and handle life challenges such as job loss, health and money matters.

It appears my generation of parents may have been misinformed on how to parent. We apparently were told it was important to do everything and provide everything for our children.  I have been caught in that net of paranoia myself. It was not acceptable to allow a child to fail, to go without something or be disappointed. What this has created is a generation of young adults where many suffer from depression and anxiety because they were not given long enough or strong enough wings to fly independently.

Because we do everything for them, and have hovered so closely over them, it has sent the message that we do not have enough faith and confidence in what they can accomplish. There are plenty of stories about parents who go to their children's colleges and clean their rooms or do their laundry and some even call professors and deans! Just because parents are financially contributing to their child's education does not mean they should interject themselves into every single aspect of their child's college life. It's not easy sometimes to step back but it is so important.

How did we get so out of control?

It has permeated to all aspects of our lives. In the business world you see poor email etiquette and lack of common courtesy. People on the job hunt say they repeatedly have traveled distances for interviews only to be left with no notification whatsoever of the status. How did this rudeness become so prevalent?

It's a brand new year. Let's get back to making it a priority to teach our children manners and to practice good manners for ourselves. It is never too late to learn manners and it's not too late to start being role models for manners. The next time you are at the store, compliment the cashier or help bag your groceries. At the next stop sign, let the other person go even though you were clearly there first. Help shovel out your neighbor. Make an effort to be courteous. The good feeling you get and the response will be amazing.

You may just start a ripple.

There is hope for us.

Manners matter.

We matter.